dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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