you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
Randomize
