And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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