I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
Randomize
