Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
Randomize
