i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
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