Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
there is glitter all over my balls
Randomize
