I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
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