New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Randomize
