I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
Randomize
