Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
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