I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
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