if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
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