fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
