i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
Randomize
