let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
Randomize
