Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Randomize
