singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Randomize
