those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
he puts the penis in happiness.
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
Randomize
