I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
Your penis caused this!
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