Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
