can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
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