I wish I could teleport
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
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