So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
Randomize
