The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
I spent part of my valentines extracting candy hearts from a woman's vagina. The entire time I was thinking "this job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes."
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
Randomize
