just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
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