just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
So gin and wine won't be happening again
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
I need a beard to bite.
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
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