Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Randomize
