Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
the gays at disneyland are vicious
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
This toilet bowl is my home.
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