260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize
