You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Randomize
