so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Randomize
