then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
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