i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
home. puking in laundry basket.
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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