i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
Randomize
