Are we in a gay sports bar?
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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