talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
Randomize