She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
Randomize
