he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
Randomize
