Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
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