ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
Non-Jews are for practice
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
Randomize