DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
Randomize
