His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
then my best friend's brother, boyfriend, and future bro in law showed up at the bar. they asked who i was there with. didn't know if "a 40 year old man" or "my 5th grade teacher" was better answer.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize
