okay pat passed out under dana's car
My kitchen smells like failed pina coladas.
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
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