I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
wakey wakey hands off snakey
i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
Randomize
