I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
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