I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
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