your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
Randomize
