the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
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