Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
Randomize
