There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
Randomize
