I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
