He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
Randomize
