i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
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