Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
