Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
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