Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
Randomize
