I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
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