my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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