hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
