dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
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