We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
You took a bar mat shot.
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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