i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize