btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
i think we sleep fucked last night...
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
