i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
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