It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
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